Hi mummy!! I cannot even imagine what your reaction would have been if I had said to that face, you would have looked at me as if something was wrong with me. You would have asked me what happened to Good afternoon mummy? I am writing this open letter to you, because people really deserve to know what an amazing mother and wife you were.
I cannot count the number of times I have dialed your number just in case a miracle will happen and I will hear your voice one more time. Sincerely, I have called your number more out of habit, because I have forgotten you are no longer here with us. This was one of the major struggles for the first few months.
I do not want to say I miss you, because that doesn’t even capture the ache I have in my heart when I remember you, which is like almost all the time. You were my everything, and it still hurts that I have to use past tense anytime I have to refer to you. It hurts terribly, it feels my heart is beating so fast and it is just going to jump right out of my chest.
I do not have a sister, you were the only major female figure in my life. I am still learning to share stuff with other people since you are no longer here but thank you for the bond you made me have with daddy. Thank you for those times you referred me to him, so I can be super free with him. If not for the awesome relationship you made us have with daddy while you were still here, I still wondered how we would have coped.
I would have loved to start mentioning all your good qualities, but it would probably just sound cliché. I would say them anyway, anyone who knows you can testify to how smart, hardworking, loving, caring, and beautiful you are. You were caring to a fault! You just want everybody to be alright.
I didn’t realize how much you have poured yourself into me until you left. Mummy, it’s so strange now that I think I do things just the way you would have done them. Even daddy and your sons confirm this too.
I miss how you always lie on my bed without my permission, I miss how you make me wear clothes I don’t like, I miss how you don’t allow daddy let me go out when I have made plans, I miss how you smile with me when we plan a coup against your husband, I miss how we come together to deal with my brothers when they offend any of us, I miss how we discuss life, I miss how we discuss work and basically, I just miss your presence.
Thank you for not leaving us totally, I still feel you at times.
Thank you for the good people you have brought my way, thank you specially for my Tee (who is the most amazing ever), thank you for my friends who have proven to be good people.
Thank you for birthing good sons, who have been wonderful and understanding, with little or no stress.
Thank you for marrying a good man, who has been so strong for his children. Really, your husband has been really amazing, everybody can testify to that.
Thank you for your ever ready to help siblings.
Thank you mummy.
Thank you for making your last breath our private moment.
Thank you for being our testimony.
We love and miss you, but we are sure you are with the one who loves you the most.
Keep watching over us, and we promise to keep making you proud.
P.S: I make sure the kitchen is always mostly neat, just the way you always wanted.